I was thinking today about listening… and more specifically about learning to “listen well”.  My friend Roger Anthony often said, “We’ve been given 2 ears and only 1 mouth and we should use them in that same proportion by listening at least twice as much as we speak.”

I read a quote the other day that said something to the efffect of “Intelligence may speak, but wisdom listens.” 

In the animal kingdom the ability and skill of listening well is key to survival…but to predator and prey.  I can think some speciies of animals that are naturally blind but none that are deaf. (Though I suspect a few of you will e-mail immediately to let me know what I am ignorant of )  The blind animals even more so than those that can see, rely on their highy developed listening skills to survive. 

I think we can all take a lesson from them and increase our chances for professional and personal survival and success by learning better to listen…and as Dr. Covey taught so well….seeking first to understand, then to be understood.

Nearly every time in my life that I have put my foot in my mouth might have easiliy been avoided if my ear was there instead.

As a professional speake,r or a professional person, learning to speak well is important.  But learning to listen is vital.  Learning to listen is a matter of survival and is a definate determinate of success. 

Today I will not only listen more… Today I will listen better.

Kirk, keeping the foot out!

Wonderful Quotes:…I wonder if you’ll be able to spot my favorite of the bunch!

Many people will walk in and out of your life,  but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.

To handle yourself, use your head;
To handle others, use your heart.

Anger is only one letter short of danger.

Great minds discuss ideas;
Average minds discuss events;
Small minds discuss people.

He who loses money, loses much;
He, who loses a friend, loses much more;
He, who loses faith, loses all.

Beautiful young people are accidents of nature,
But beautiful old people are works of art.

Learn from the mistakes of others.
You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.

Kirk Out

Chief Morale Officer Kirk Anthony Weisler is engaged in a mission to Make Work Matter, to Increase the Sense of Community, to Strengthen Connections and to Create Outragously Cool Culture. Experience his Motivation Message and Let his Contagous Enthusiasm for Culture inspire your group to get fully engaged in “Making Your Culture Count”

“It is easier to come up with new ideas than it is to…let go of the old ones.”  Peter Drucker

It’s my guess that not being willing to let go holds back more people and more institutions than not knowing does.  Kirk Out

My boss told me… that most people change when the “fear of changing is less than the fear of staying the same”.

An example might be the doctor saying something like “I give you about 6 months to live if you don’t stop doing ______. ”   

People will also change ought of frustration which comes when the realization that what they are doing and have been doing is not working.  In this scenario they either choose to blame, point and wait for the world to change and provide a reward for their behavior or they finally conclude… they must do something differently to realize a new result. 

Another reason “change happens” is because leadership is present.  Good leaders are great teachers and they use their gift of teaching to help people see why change is necessary, why change is good, and how change can bless lives, pocketbooks, and make the world (of work or in general) a better place to live, work and play.   Wise leaders do this long before the “fear” phase sets in because they constantly pro-active in preparing their people and organizations for the future.

When I reflect on all the major positive and powerful changes I made in my life without a doctor or fear being present…. I conclude quickly that a leader was present.  A leader who cared enough to take the time to teach me and help me see with clarity a future that was brighter, and richer and more wonderful …. a future that was waiting for someone like me to come and create it, sieze it and enjoy it.  The vision of myself in the future was a lot like me…only it was a  better me… a changed me.  And that vision and that leader helped me choose to change without fear… instead I was filled with faith, hope, belief, and desire.  And anyone filled with those things is going to change…… for better….the world….

Kirk Out

Stewardship by Jim Rohn

How much should you make? As much as you possibly can. It doesn’t matter whether it’s $10,000 a year or $100,000 a year as long as you’ve done the best you can.   The man says, “If I had a fortune, I’d take good care of it.  But I only have a paycheck and I don’t know where it all goes.”

Wouldn’t you love to have him running your company?  If you wish to have power and influence over the many, be faithful (disciplined) when there are just a few. If you have a few employees, a few distributors, a few people, that’s the time to stay in touch and be totally absorbed - when there is just a few.   Start from wherever you are and with whatever you’ve got.

Make it a great day, it’s your choice!

Kirk Out

   I had the need yesterday to reconsider a few things I said when a wiser person would have said nothing.  There was no way to get the words back…they were out there.  There was nothing to do except to apologize.  Something I have had a lot of experience with.  Which is probably both a good and bad thing.  Harder than saying your sorry can be letting go of it yourself…but this must be done, we must do what we can to make it right, move on and be done with it.  If not we may be creating something else we’ll regret.  We must not let the mistakes and blunders of yesterday creep in and darken the hope and potential of today.   I love what Emerson had to say on the subject.

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely with too high a spirt to be encumbered with your old nonsense.” ~Emerson

Kirk Out

“People have a right to their own opinions, but they do not have a right to their own facts”  _Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan

Opinions may be formed, facts should be gathered, not manufactured… maybe that’s why snopes.com is so popular.

Kirk

   If you have ever shared a unique view or opinion and experienced a less than enthusastic reception for it… here may be the reason.   “New opinions are always suspected, and usually opposed, without any other reason but because they are not already common.”   John Locke  

( Think about poor Galileo suggesting that the Earth was not the center of things?!! http://www.scienceandyou.org/articles/ess_02.shtml ) 

Read a great post this morning by Michael Hyatt on trusting in people’s strengths when they are in the need of some potentially hard feedback.  To read his excellent post click here or on this link.  http://michaelhyatt.com/2010/02/standing-for-the-greatness-of-others.html

My comment in response to his post was this… People don’t confront difficult situations because they fear it will get worse if they do. They have never seen a successful model of such a confrontation. Instead they have seen arguements, felt contention or worse. There are 2 wonderful books on the subject. “Crucial Conversations, Tools for Talking When the Stakes are High” by the Vital Smarts group. And “Leadership and Self Deception” by the Arbinger Group.

Kirk Out

Most of us will miss the real significance of what we might contribute to this life and what we might joyfully experience from this life, not because we are bad people or doing bad things, but because we have allowed ourselves to become distracted from doing the most important ones.  ~  From the pages of my leadership journal…Aug, 2003 ~ Kirk Weisler

  I recieved lots of responses to the post about “Cynics” - evidence that far too many of us are dealing with far too many of them!  I wanted to share this comment from Jodee Bock where she says no to cynics but yes to skeptics.

Kirk, This has been a topic of dialogue in several of my groups recently. We have determined that there is no place for cynicism in a world pursuing success as you and Mike have defined it (or as Napoleon Hill defines it: “Attainment of your definite chief aim without violating the rights of other people”) but there’s plenty of room for healthy skepticism, which implies a mind open to learning. After all, learning = change. If there has been no change (and that includes changing your mind), then there has been no learning. Our groups in Fargo are all about learning and expanding and growing, so our skeptics actually have a huge role in our collective growth whereas cynics just don’t really stick around too long.

Kirk Out