Take Memory Lane to Adversity Drive, then turn right onto Thanksgiving Way
Yesterday we drove up to the hospital to celebrate the 2 year anniversary of Ashlyn coming home after her 31 days in the ICU. We walked the halls, sat in the waiting area, visited with some of the staff we knew, ate the cafeteria food and we remembered. We found a quite place and took turns reading from Rebecca’s journal, stopping often to each share memories of the experience. We talked about the kindness, generosity, and combined faith of so many friends (many of whom we have never even met) that was such a sustaining and uplifting part of that memory filled me to over flowing. We talked about what we felt, what our thoughts were at different moments of the many ups and downs of Ashlyn’s time there. Most importantly we talked about what we learned, how it changed us individualy and as a family, and how we were better for the experience.
Then we came home. We watched the “memory” video our Jake made 2 years ago of the experience. We said a prayer and hugged…and we just wanted to be together. No TV, no technology….we just sat together in the living room for a long time talking, laughing, and feeling wonderful.
Brittany, our oldest, posted a picture and these wise words on her Facebook page “Adversity strengthens, deepens, and purifies us. We need it. We are better because of it.”
While in the children’s hospital - we saw other families, some pulling little red wagons with little sick children in them. At least one outcome of our experience with adversity is that it has helped to amplify our empathy and increase our compassion for others. It’s so true… “Calm water does not a great sailor make” - It is in the fire of adverstiy that our metal is tested and our character refined. And if we take a moment to reflect on what we really learned as a result… the list may be longer than we suspect. And at least 2 of the things that will be on most every list are these…
1) Wow, we had more friends than we suspected - who cared way more than we thought and
2) We learned that we can do hard things. And aren’t those 2 pretty big things to be thankful for.
Kirk Out
March 4th, 2013 at 2:03 pm
Such a beautiful family, inside & out! Thank you for allowing us to share in your learnings, your joy & your thanksgiving!
March 4th, 2013 at 2:14 pm
You have a lovely family. SVVSD DTS is happy that everyone is healthy and growing.
March 4th, 2013 at 2:46 pm
Hi Kirk,
great news, two whole years have passed since then, that is amazing! It seems to have passed quickly from where I am sitting. Congratulations to her, you, and everyone who has stood in the face of adversity.
The funny thing about adversity is that it is all around most of the time, we just do not recognise it for a large part. Calm waters a sailor may not make, but they do make the best rowers. Anyone who has rowed will tell you that team work plays a great part, and it is no mean feat to get everyone in sync and pulling their weight. All around us we have situations like that going on, we just forget that we overcame them so long ago they don’t seem that adverse. The houses we live in, the water and electricity supply, without these simple conveniences of our time we would learn all too quickly the power of adversity, Luckily the people who went before us solved these problems for everyone, and now it is our turn to do what we can to make the world a safer and more enjoyable place not just for us but for the coming generations, like Ashlyn.
All the best friend,
Michael
March 4th, 2013 at 3:14 pm
I am so happy for your family. What a great milestone!
Your collective strength is a great example.
March 4th, 2013 at 5:15 pm
Kirk, I’m always reminded of Proverbs 27:17 – As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.
We are made stronger, and better, through adversity. You know the funny thing? When the event happens, whatever it may be… it is a simple choice we make as to how we will respond. It’s not simple to make the right decision, true. But I suspect that the more we make the right one, it must become somewhat easier the next. But if we were to look back over the course of the events, we make that choice in a split second. Isn’t it interesting how that one split second will impact not only us, but often those around us.
Our van broke down on us while we were three hours from home, heading away on vacation last year. Against all odds, I stayed calm, didn’t lose my mind, and we got it sorted. But the kids saw us handle adversity in a positive way. How I wish I handled it that well each and every time.
God bless, my friend.
Steven
March 4th, 2013 at 6:19 pm
Like you, I’m really into quotes. (One of my life’s highlights was meeting John Wooden years ago and having a 10 minute 1-1 conversation with him. He was awesome!!!! (I love “Never let what you can’t do get in the way of what you can do!”)
I used another wise person’s quote at work today. My staff is dealing a big dilemma in that they’re coordinating a lot of widespread activities, but the folks (internal to my company) with various tasks to do are only half paying attention and then they’re not properly playing their role in the project activity. The result is a lot of inefficiencies and last minute scurrying around to make arrangements for things that should have been done long ago.
My team has been guilty of being “too nice”, and I’m afraid they’ve been taken advantage of. I’m a very nice guy, but I recognize that we’re all being paid to deliver results — we’re not being paid to be “friends” with folks (nor are we paid to be doormats either.) So…. the quote I used today was from Project Management Guru Neal Whitten. Neal said “Escalation isn’t personal — it’s just good business”. I love that.
My team and I are starting down the path to improve accountability and responsiveness within our organization. (Did I tell you that I bought QBQ on Friday? I’m going to have my staff read it too!) Sadly, I think our past approach to things has taught the organization how to treat us, so we have some remedial conditioning work to do with them. Starting now, we’re going to embrace the advice of another one of my heroes, Teddy Roosevelt: “Speak softly and carry a big stick”
I’ll let you know how that goes. In the meantime, we’ll do our best to keep living the dream.
Thanks again for all your support and encouragement Kirk! I’m glad things turned out well for your daughter and family. That’s what is really important in life!
Jay
Director, Change Control & Service Coordination
March 4th, 2013 at 11:08 pm
Hard to believe it’s been two years . . . when those 31 days seemed like an eternity.
Glad that you have a Happy Anniversary to celebrate.