Offense is Taken, not Given.
Responding to criticism that his material or show was offensive actor and comedian Ricky Gervais said, “Offense is taken, not given. Just because someone is offended doesn’t mean that they are right.”
I have been on both sides of the issue of offense. I have been the unintentional offender for all kinds of reasons. My intentions were misunderstoond, my words poorly chosen, my thoughts unclear, my patience gone… you name it.
I have also been the recipient of poorly chosen words, bad timing, thoughtless remarks, and other various words and gestures from frustrated members of the human race. I’m not going to say I have never been offended…I have “taken offense” from time to time. But I have also not taken it…even when it was intentional. (HINT: not taking it is much better for everyone)
I have heard it said that “He who takes offense when none was intended is a fool. He who takes offense when offense was intended is an even greater fool.” ~ B. Young
We can choose not to be offended and we can choose to remove ourselves from places, people and situations where things we may find offensive are more likely to occur.
Kirk
Listened to a nice podcast on “How to develop more discipline this morning…. if you could use a bit more…then maybe you could use this podcast.
http://michaelhyatt.com/036-how-to-develop-more-discipline-podcast.html
January 9th, 2013 at 10:27 am
I LOVE the quote… “he who takes offense…” As someone who seems to takes offense quite often, I am going to try to internalize this. Thanks!
January 9th, 2013 at 10:34 am
I really like today’s T4D, another one I’ll save as well as print. I don’t know how many times I have witnessed a situation where someone “reads into” a comment making it into something totally different, or put a different “tone” into a message which can make it come across differently such a message with anger as to gentleness.
January 9th, 2013 at 1:23 pm
Great T4D! The point is people CHOOSE to be offended. What is the definition of being offended? It’s deciding to feel bad about something another person said or did, no matter what that other person’s intentions were. Some laws make reference to “offending community standards” but there really isn’t a “right to not be offended”, or at least there shouldn’t be. That said, people also have a moral responsibility to treat others with respect and integrity. But “getting offended” isn’t a healthy path to take.
January 9th, 2013 at 4:00 pm
WOW - needed this one today!!! Have been spending too much time on Facebook and ALLOWING myself to get upset over things stated by loved ones. Need to take to heart that everyone, myself included, has the right to their own thoughts and opinions. It’s a choice of how I choose to react, either positively or negatively. Time to shift the way I think and react.
January 9th, 2013 at 7:34 pm
We cannot control others.
We can control how we choose to view them . . . with anger or compassion, with amused detachment or frustration.
We can choose NOT to be offended.
Learning to manage our thoughts, feelings, and emotions can be difficult, but it’s worth it . . . after all, our freedom is at stake.