My boss told me… that most people change when the “fear of changing is less than the fear of staying the same”.

An example might be the doctor saying something like “I give you about 6 months to live if you don’t stop doing ______. ”   

People will also change ought of frustration which comes when the realization that what they are doing and have been doing is not working.  In this scenario they either choose to blame, point and wait for the world to change and provide a reward for their behavior or they finally conclude… they must do something differently to realize a new result. 

Another reason “change happens” is because leadership is present.  Good leaders are great teachers and they use their gift of teaching to help people see why change is necessary, why change is good, and how change can bless lives, pocketbooks, and make the world (of work or in general) a better place to live, work and play.   Wise leaders do this long before the “fear” phase sets in because they constantly pro-active in preparing their people and organizations for the future.

When I reflect on all the major positive and powerful changes I made in my life without a doctor or fear being present…. I conclude quickly that a leader was present.  A leader who cared enough to take the time to teach me and help me see with clarity a future that was brighter, and richer and more wonderful …. a future that was waiting for someone like me to come and create it, sieze it and enjoy it.  The vision of myself in the future was a lot like me…only it was a  better me… a changed me.  And that vision and that leader helped me choose to change without fear… instead I was filled with faith, hope, belief, and desire.  And anyone filled with those things is going to change…… for better….the world….

Kirk Out

Stewardship by Jim Rohn

How much should you make? As much as you possibly can. It doesn’t matter whether it’s $10,000 a year or $100,000 a year as long as you’ve done the best you can.   The man says, “If I had a fortune, I’d take good care of it.  But I only have a paycheck and I don’t know where it all goes.”

Wouldn’t you love to have him running your company?  If you wish to have power and influence over the many, be faithful (disciplined) when there are just a few. If you have a few employees, a few distributors, a few people, that’s the time to stay in touch and be totally absorbed - when there is just a few.   Start from wherever you are and with whatever you’ve got.

Make it a great day, it’s your choice!

Kirk Out

   I had the need yesterday to reconsider a few things I said when a wiser person would have said nothing.  There was no way to get the words back…they were out there.  There was nothing to do except to apologize.  Something I have had a lot of experience with.  Which is probably both a good and bad thing.  Harder than saying your sorry can be letting go of it yourself…but this must be done, we must do what we can to make it right, move on and be done with it.  If not we may be creating something else we’ll regret.  We must not let the mistakes and blunders of yesterday creep in and darken the hope and potential of today.   I love what Emerson had to say on the subject.

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely with too high a spirt to be encumbered with your old nonsense.” ~Emerson

Kirk Out

“People have a right to their own opinions, but they do not have a right to their own facts”  _Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan

Opinions may be formed, facts should be gathered, not manufactured… maybe that’s why snopes.com is so popular.

Kirk

   If you have ever shared a unique view or opinion and experienced a less than enthusastic reception for it… here may be the reason.   “New opinions are always suspected, and usually opposed, without any other reason but because they are not already common.”   John Locke  

( Think about poor Galileo suggesting that the Earth was not the center of things?!! http://www.scienceandyou.org/articles/ess_02.shtml ) 

Read a great post this morning by Michael Hyatt on trusting in people’s strengths when they are in the need of some potentially hard feedback.  To read his excellent post click here or on this link.  http://michaelhyatt.com/2010/02/standing-for-the-greatness-of-others.html

My comment in response to his post was this… People don’t confront difficult situations because they fear it will get worse if they do. They have never seen a successful model of such a confrontation. Instead they have seen arguements, felt contention or worse. There are 2 wonderful books on the subject. “Crucial Conversations, Tools for Talking When the Stakes are High” by the Vital Smarts group. And “Leadership and Self Deception” by the Arbinger Group.

Kirk Out

Most of us will miss the real significance of what we might contribute to this life and what we might joyfully experience from this life, not because we are bad people or doing bad things, but because we have allowed ourselves to become distracted from doing the most important ones.  ~  From the pages of my leadership journal…Aug, 2003 ~ Kirk Weisler

  I recieved lots of responses to the post about “Cynics” - evidence that far too many of us are dealing with far too many of them!  I wanted to share this comment from Jodee Bock where she says no to cynics but yes to skeptics.

Kirk, This has been a topic of dialogue in several of my groups recently. We have determined that there is no place for cynicism in a world pursuing success as you and Mike have defined it (or as Napoleon Hill defines it: “Attainment of your definite chief aim without violating the rights of other people”) but there’s plenty of room for healthy skepticism, which implies a mind open to learning. After all, learning = change. If there has been no change (and that includes changing your mind), then there has been no learning. Our groups in Fargo are all about learning and expanding and growing, so our skeptics actually have a huge role in our collective growth whereas cynics just don’t really stick around too long.

Kirk Out

 If successful people have one common trait, it’s an utter lack of cynicism. The world owes them nothing. They go out and find what they need without asking for permission; they’re driven, talented, and work through negatives by focusing on the positives.  ~ — Mike Zimmerman

A cynical friend disagreed with this… of course.  He said there were lplenty of cynical people who were successful.  So we debated about the definition of success and here’s what we agreed on.  If success is only defined by money… then the cynical can be said to be successsful.  But if success includes the attributes of happiness, joy, or meaningful relationships then Mike Zimmermans quote stands.  ( though I suspect a few cynical people will still respond to this today with their opinion) 

Cynicsim is not attractive.  Yes, cynicism may bring laughs, but not the sort that inspires minds or lifts spirits.  So you can be rich, lonely, miserable and cynical…or you can have relationships.

Kirk Out

“I have never been especially impressed by the heroics of people convinced they are about to change the world. I am more awed by those who struggle to make one small difference.”  ~Ellen Goodman

Let’s continue the struggle… Kirk out

Over the weekend I found myself glancing through some of the books on the shelf that I haven’t gotten too yet and came to a dead stop on page 43 of “the Gift of Change” by Marianne Williamson.  I read and re-read the following 5 short paragraphs and knew immediately that I must share them here.  Read, read again… enjoy and snap out of yourself.

You cannot find yourself by only looking to yourself, because an essence that is not where you are. The real you is an expanded self, literally one with the entire world.  And so we find ourselves in relationship to the whole. We cannot be happy unless we are wishing everyone the same.

            One day I was indulging some ego-based concerns about my life, worried that this or that wasn’t happening; I remember I was specifically worried that I wasn’t achieving enough in my career. The conversation in my head was all about me (mistake number one) and focused on what I perceived to be lacking (mistake number two). I did realize my thinking wasn’t miracle-minded, and finally I told myself to snap out of it.

            I was packing to leave a hotel room at the time, and shortly afterwards the bellman arrived to retrieve my bags. I started asking him about his life. Questioning others about their lives rather than rambling on about our own is a surefire way to direct our minds away from the ego. I asked him what time he came to work each morning, what else he did with his life, and so on.

            And then he said to me, “Excuse me, are you Marianne Williamson?” He proceeded to tell me that he and his used to attend my lectures regularly in Los Angeles, that his wife listens to my tapes every day, and about how important my work has been to them. And in so doing, he perfectly assuaged the concerns I had been focused on an hour before; his comments shifted my thinking and thus my feelings. But if I had simply stayed with my self-involved line of thought, without redirection my mind to focus on another, then I would never have received the miracle.  There would have been this person ready to offer me a healing, but I wouldn’t have been available to receive it. By with-holding friendship from the bellman, I would have been withholding healing from myself.

            Generosity, in that sense, is an act of self-interest. And I have seen it too many times to doubt it; as long as I remember that the love I seek can only be found as I extend my love to others, the peace comes fairly easily.  It’s when we forget that that all hell breaks loose. Love extended is the key to happiness; love withheld is the key to pain.

The gift of change could be just a snap away… If we can just snap out of ourselves and our self focused thinking.

Kirk Out