Letting Go to Grow
Friday, June 12th, 2009Â 
When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. — Lao Tzu
A seed won’t grow if left unplanted.Â
A person won’t grow if left unchallenged.Â
We have to let go, to grow. ~ Kirk Out
 
When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. — Lao Tzu
A seed won’t grow if left unplanted.Â
A person won’t grow if left unchallenged.Â
We have to let go, to grow. ~ Kirk Out
 Most of you have probably found spiders in your house. In Georgia it’s a daily occurence for our family and on some days the kids are asking for multiple spider removals. On some days I just quickly kill the spider, on other days I try to capture it and carry it outside.Â
Today I was wondering about why…and what makes the difference.  It’s not the breed of the spider, or the time of day, or even which child’s room it’s in. Some days I just seem to have more compassion, patience and desire to be nicer than other days.Â
Catching some spiders, especially the creepy & quick ones can take a lot more work than just crushing it with a napkin or squashing it with whatever is close by. But on those certain days when I am in that better place … I find myself laying aside the cares of the day and taking the time to capture, carry and release the eight legged terrors into the wild of our front flower bed. (On rare occasions I have even carried them as far as the garden. (Self serving service, I know).  When I save the spider I don’t feel like I have saved the world…but I do feel better. Somehow this small insignificant act seems significant…even noble in some way. I just feel a little bit better about myself.
On the days when I kill the spider, I rationalize it away with thoughts like, he should’ve known better than come in my daughters room, or there are plenty of spiders in the world so this one won’t be missed. And because thoughts can be much too closely tied to feelings, I usually try to kill them without thinking at all.Â
Sometimes I treat people like spiders…(not that I smack them with a shoe). Sometimes I take the time to care for them, walk with them, and even take them where they the need to go and can grow. Other times in my haste I may inadvertently crush a dream, or squash and kill a conversation with quick verbal blow. This can happen when I want convenience and others want conversation.  I have to justify my “cut it short” remarks with reasons that are as unfair to the person as they are to the spider. The remarks and the justification can be just as deadly to that person emotionally as they were to the spider literally.
When Peter Parker, the real Spiderman,  was struggling with his new powers and personal identity his Uncle Ben wisely said, “With great power, comes great responsibility.”  And that thoughtful comment saved SpiderMan…and Spider Man saved the world.Â
All I am talking about is saving the spider.. and in saving the spider maybe I am helping to save a man. (me).
I guess what I am really driving at is that today I want to save the spider
Kirk Out
It is a fine thing to have ability, but the ability to discover ability in others is the true test.                      ~ Elbert Hubbard
Helping other people realize a fuller measure of their own potential is the never ending quest of the servant leader. The book that has probably helped me do this more than any other has probably been - Now Discover Your Strengths” ( I preferred the audio version) Kirk Out

One of my wife’s all time favorite quotes is this one…. “We move towards and become that which we consistently think about and believe.”Â
I share these supporting thoughts from the book “What to Say when you talk to Yourself” authored by Shad Helmstetter PhD.
Could it be that those who appear to be “luckier” than the rest have actually only gotten a little better programming, or perhaps have learned how to erase their old negative programming and replace it with something better?
I was shocked to learn the simplicity of one small fact: You will become what you think about most; your success or failure in anything, large or small, will depend on your programming–what you accept from others, and what you say when you talk to yourself.
It is no longer a success theory; it is a simple, but powerful fact.
Neither luck nor desire has the slightest thing to do with it. It makes no difference whether we believe it or not. The brain simply believes what you tell it most. And what you tell it about you, it will create. It has no choice.
So let us choose wisely what we choose to think about most often…
Kirk Out
My children are now running and writing a few “purposeful” blogs. One of which is titled, “Quotes My Kids Like“. It’s still in it’s beginning stages but I really like what they have done so far. I  invite you to check it out…or to have your kids check it out. http://quotesmykidslike.wordpress.com/ Below is a picture of my son Josh that I just took this morning as he wears his “Happy Shirt”. Wouldn’t it be great if we could give all the grumpy people in our life one of these to turn their frowns upside down. :)Â

Remember - You don’t need a shirt to be happy. But hey, it might help.
Kirk Out
Incidently - Another blog they are running is called “Dates with Dad” this is their favorite, so far.
http://quotesmykidslike.wordpress.com/
http://rebeccaweisler.wordpress.com/
http://1thingilove.wordpress.com/
http://dateswithdad.wordpress.com/
http://humanbecomings.wordpress.com/2009/06/26/be-different/#comment-2
http://rebeccaweisler.wordpress.com/about/
This link will take you to a wonderful 45 second read that someone just shared with me. It got me thinking more about what I can do to better serve & give back to my community. I thought of a kind act I could do…and then… I DID IT!
http://geeks.pirillo.com/profiles/blogs/one-act-of-kindness-gives-me
Enjoy!
Kirk
  Waste your money and you’re only out of money, but waste your time and you’ve lost part of your life. ~ — Michael Leboeuf