I thought we might start the week with some humor.   If you don’t need humor just inspiration then skip to the end.

Here are some sayings that should be on buttons.  (I’ve highlighted my favorites…what are yours?)

• 1. Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.

• 2. Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.

• 3. Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?

• 4. Don’t bother me. I’m living happily ever after.

• 5. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.

• 6. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

• 7. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

• 8. You! Off my planet!

• 9. Therapy is expensive - popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.

• 10. Practice random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control.

• 11. Bottomless pit of needs and wants.

• 12. First Bank of Dad. Sorry, closed.

• 13. Friendly checkout clerk. Thanks for keeping me that way.

• 14. Does your train of thought have a caboose?

• 15. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

• 16. And your crybaby, whiny opinion would be…?

• 17. I’m not crazy. I’ve just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.

• 18. If only you’d use your powers for good instead of evil….

• 19. I majored in liberal arts. Will that be for here or to go?

• 20. Allow me to introduce my selves.

• 21. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

• 22. Whisper my favorite words: “I’ll buy it for you.”

• 23. Better living through denial.

• 24. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

• 25. Adult child of alien invaders.

• 26. Suburbia: where they tear out the trees and then name streets after them.

• 27. Do they ever shut up on your planet?

• 28. I’m just working here until a good fast-food job opens up.

• 29. I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.

• 30. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

• 31. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.

• 32. Here I am! Now what are your other two wishes?

• 

• 33. I can’t remember if I’m the good twin or the evil one.

• 34. Don’t worry, I forgot your name too.

• 35. Adults are just kids who owe money.

• 36. I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?

• 37. Can I trade this job for what’s behind Door #2?

• 38. Macho law prohibits me from admitting I’m wrong.

• 39. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

• 40. Not all people are annoying. Some are dead.

• 41. Too many freaks; not enough circuses.

• 42. Chaos, panic and disorder - my work here is done.

• 43. Earth is full. Go home!

• 44. Is it time for your medication or mine?

• 45. And which dwarf are you?

• 46. I refuse to star in your psychodrama.

• 47. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

• 48. How do I set a laser printer to “stun?”

• 49. I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.

• 

Now a few inspirational quotes…..

 A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.–Herm Albright

 If everything is under control, you’re going too slow.   –Mario Andretti

 We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.–Aristotle

 You cannot get ahead while you’re getting even.–Dick Armey

 It’s tough to make predictions, especially about the future.   –Yogi  Berra

If you have a family member that is into Magic… then I have a wonderfully illustrated magical book for you to consider.

The AMAZING ALEXANDER… click here to learn more.

Make it a great day!

Kirk