Sacred Shared Treasure…The Making of a Good Day
With permission I share with you the following short e-mail I recieved from Andy Oconner.  I believe a thougtful reading will easily reveal an opportunity to substitute leader for parent and co-worker or team member for child. Enjoy…
Kirk,
I just wanted to share something with you because I think that these simple acts I’m about to describe let us know that things can be right in this world and these points are incredibly significant:
1) Parents are incredibly important to their children, no matter how difficult it is, we’ve got to do our part,
2) the kindness, thoughtfulness and genuine, untarnished, unjaded love that a child shows can teach us so much, and
3) what would seem to many such a simple gesture, can teach us more than we know.
This morning as my wife and I were nearly out the door for work, and running late as is often the case, our nine year old daughter, Kennedy, is in her room working on some secret project. I call down the stairs to tell her goodbye and that I love her and I receive a, “just wait Dad, I need give you something“.Â
Mind you, we’re already running late, my wife is scrambling to find the right shoes and my first thought is that I really don’t have time for this right now. I wait anyway and she proudly walks up the stairs holding Pooh, who coincidentally has a note tied around his neck that reads, ‘I love you Dad.”‘  She hands him to me and tells me that he can sit at my desk and take care of me today, and honestly, I nearly melt right there.Â
Why is this a big deal? Some history on this Pooh bear would reveal that she’s had it basically her whole life and Pooh is never too far away from her at night, no matter where she goes or we go, he is, in almost every instance, along for the ride. We go to Wisconsin Dells to the water park, Pooh goes with; we go to Disney World, Pooh flies along, and the list goes on and on as to the places Pooh has been and seen. Pooh is a constant in her life and one the few things that she looks for when she needs some solace or a piece of home if she feels lonely.Â
I felt so proud, I felt touched and I think I even felt a bit small…we too often find it so hard to give of ourselves or to let go of possessions and here, she has freely given an item that provides her a sense of security, in search of providing someone else that same security. And what does she do for an encore? Before I can pull the truck out of the garage, she delivers a cookie to each of us and tells us to have a good day. Wow! Through all the challenges of parenting, it is so rewarding to enjoy moments like this, to reinforce the hope that you’re doing the right things and that they’ll hold on to that heart of gold, along with their principles, as the world attempts to rip it away.Â
So…I’d classify today as a good day, have a good one Kirk!
Let go of something and share yourself more fully with those around you… make it a GOOD DAY> Said another way… “Share your POOH” 
Kirk Out
Andy O’Connor
January 13th, 2009 at 10:51 am
Kirk,
Don’t know if you will get this or not… but my husband and I had a similar discussion a few weeks ago. We own our own small business coaching business and our lives tend to be a bit hectic to say the least. All too often we plan what we are going to do in a day (not just work but also exercise, the laundry, the post office, etc.) only to find that life takes over. When unexpected things occur - it would often leave me with a pit in my stomach.
One night about 1am two days before Christmas, I finally collapsed into bed only to know that I would have to get up in 4 1/2 hours. We closed our bedroom door and I snuggled under the covers vowing to read a few pages of a book that I was trying to finish. 10 minutes and lights would be out.
No sooner had I climbed into bed and opened my book, there was a knock at our bedroom door. In peeked my 22 year old daughter. Yes — 22 years old. I was thinking… I really don’t have time for this… but I asked her what was up. She said, “Mom - can you come out with me for a little while?” So…. pit in the stomach and all I said “sure”, swung my legs out of bed and headed for the living room.
No sooner did I sit on the coach with her when the tears started to fall. I pulled my 22 year old into my lap and we ended up talking for 2 hours. The next morning she was back to her old self and I launched into my new plan for the day.
When I climbed back into bed that night my husband (her step dad) asked if everything was ok. I told him that everything was fine. Then I said, “Rick, do you know what I finally learned tonight?” “The moment is far more important than the plan.” Sounds like common sense but it was an “AHA” moment for me.
Now, when I am in the middle of a project that has to be done right away, I still stop and take that “moment” when my temperamental cat finally decides to jump into my lap to cuddle for a few minutes.
My husband and I have mellowed out quite a bit in the last few weeks since that night. When something comes up that causes us to modify our plan for the day, we just smile at each other. We both know… the moment is worth far more than the plan.
Have a fantastic 2009!!!!!
Brenda Hanson
January 13th, 2009 at 11:43 am
Good advice Brenda, something I’ll keep in mind as my kids grow up. In response to Andy, my 3-1/2 year old son wrote a letter to me (on two pieces of toilet paper) which was basically scribbles, then wanted mommy to seal it in an envelope and mail it to me at work. They instead left it in my lunch bag. It was a warm moment to open that at work wondering what thought process was behind it. It’s pinned to my wall, others may wonder but I know that’s a personal letter from my son.
If you’re out the door before the family wakes, like myself, occasionally leave individual post-it notes for the kids/wife/husband. Amazing how a little personal message like “great effort with your math assignment†can make someone’s day before they head off.
January 13th, 2009 at 1:48 pm
When I was 19, and without sharing too many details, I was kicked out of my parent’s abusive home. At the time, I had twin 8 year old brothers that witnessed the embarrassingly volatile argument that led to me getting kicked out. As I tearfully put my suitcase in the car, JL, the quiet, thoughtful, reserved twin, ran out to the driveway with his favorite war-torn teddy bear in hand.
As he wrapped his arms around my legs, he said, “Here Sissy. You can have Fuzzy. You’ll need him to watch you.”
19 years later, I still have that little bear, not too worse for the wear. It has since been passed down to my little 16-month old boy, who was named after that sweet uncle of his. I’ll never forget the generous, childlike sacrifice that my baby brother made, in an effort to help comfort his hurting sister.
It’s a quality that I work to instill in my son today. When he offers me a slobbery graham cracker in his baby-ish efforts to share, I accept it and make it a point to say thank you to his generosity, even if it grosses me out. I share my food or magazines or books and am attempting to help him learn thank you and please.
I don’t think it’s ever too early to set an example of generosity, nor is it too early to set an example of a gracious receiver. A few years from now, I hope to find my son giving something personally valuable, to another in need…just like his uncle did with me.
January 14th, 2009 at 11:10 am
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