Let’s Help Lisa
I often get e-mails asking me for insights and advice on how to handle or help a particular challenge being faced by an organization or leader.  Realizing that I am not “Dr. Phil” or “Dr. Laura” I know I cannot solve or evenly completely understand the context of anyone’s problem in a soundbyte or in an e-mail.Â
As much as I might want to help…I also have limitations of time and huge volumes of e-mail. So… I’m going to ask for your help!! There are thousands of you….and your expertise and experience runs deep deep deep. So what follows is an e-mail from Lisa from the UK asking a question…then comes my reply… then a link to the blog post where you can offer your thoughts and insights as well. Let’s Help Lisa!
 (She writes) Kirk,  My organisation is in the midst of an enormous period of change, the future  is far from clear and understandably this is making our employees, and  ourselves, extremely anxious and in some cases really grumpy, or even sick with worry. I care deeply about the people who work for me, they are a great bunch of guys who turn up and give their all day in day out.
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 My frustration lies with the fact that I can’t give them assurances or any information about what is going on, because I don’t know myself. I respect them too much to try and placate them with false hope, so I really need some advice or tips on the sorts of things I could do to raise morale from its  current doldrums.
Any ideas?
 Lisa
Lisa,  I love that you love your people and want to help…here are my thoughts
The best thing you can do to raise their morale is continue to care about them, care for them and trust in their strength and remind them of their strength.  It is not the companies job or the leaders job to make their people happy..  people have a right to pursue happiness… but no right to expect if from any other source than themselves.
Depression and despair are largely, if not totally, self inflicted wounds…brought on by negative thoughts that were allowed to linger far too long. Forget worrying about giving them false hope… instead believe in thier strength and capability and encourage and nurture self reliance, ownership spirit and remind people of the facts.  Which are …
No one is holding a gun to our their head making them stay, or making them be miserable or sick… and all the blame in the world that we try to affix to others for our sad state of morale won’t change the fact that we have a choice or choices … and playing victim is most often the least rewarding one we make.  Don’t let the fear or uncertainty of tomorrow or the future - rule or ruin today. Â
If you have advice or insights for Lisa…. please leave your comments by clicking HEREÂ
or here http://kirkweisler.com/t4d/Â
Thank you - Kirk
September 10th, 2008 at 9:24 am
Hi Lisa,
I recommend one book : Who Moved My Cheese.
There is also a wesite : www.whomovedmycheese.com.
This should help you and your colleagues understand and accept changes at work and in their life.
Good luck !
CA
September 10th, 2008 at 9:30 am
Lisa, For any of your staff who might believe in prayer, here’s one they may find comforting: “Do not look forward in fear to the changes in life, rather look to them with full hope that as they arise, God, whose very own you are, will lead you safely through all things; and when you cannot stand it, God will carry you in His arms. Do not fear what may happen tomorrow, the same everlasting Father who cares for you today will take care of you then and everyday. He will either shield you from suffering, or will give you unfailing strength to bear it. Be at peace and put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginations.” - St. Francis deSales
September 10th, 2008 at 9:36 am
Lisa,
Tell your folks you will let them know as soon as you know and can share; and you’ll hold nothing back. In a lot of instances simply being an effective rumor killer is the most important role you can play.
September 10th, 2008 at 9:40 am
Hi Lisa,
Change is a constant in today’s world and I believe we must meet change head-on and immerse ourselves in the process or project to make it a success. Those who get on board and give their all will accomplish more for themselves and the company than those who are miserable and drag their feet.
I recently attended a small retreat and our President spoke briefly about relationships and focused on how to make them successful. In a nut shell, when two parties, come together (family, coworkers, etc.), each side expects the other to give something, a 50/50 split, so to speak. However, to be truly successful both sides MUST bring 100% to the table and always be ready to carry the other party when times are tough or trying. When this type of effort is put forth, nothing can stop you.
Have a great day!
Jeff
September 10th, 2008 at 9:43 am
Advise for Lisa
I would first let the people know they are not the only ones going through this. Everyone these days are asked to do more with less and going through change to force that concept. I understand not everyone is as big on faith as I am learning to be but the advise is still the same.
MOST IMPORTANT this is the time to be positive about change and to dig deep for creative ways to save time, money and energy. Only the best of the best are going to get through this period of change. We have to understand that without changing things we will sink…this is a tough time and we all have to bite the bullet and be open minded. I tell my staff you are either on the bus and part of the solution or you will be viewed as part of the problem. Now is there chance to shine and show that they can contribute to making tough times a little more bearable’.
P
September 10th, 2008 at 9:47 am
Hi Lisa,
I am on the Employee end of your situation of another Company which has been going down hill for months with layoffs and a very uncertain future. I watch the other Employees around me get frustrated and sick just like you said. Our Management from all outward appearances appear to care very little about the Employees. I for one tend to look at the fact that Management has a lot to lose if the Company goes down as well. I choose every day to come to work joyful and continue to give my best in every way. I know that it is a possibility that in the next couple of months I may indeed be looking for a new job but I cannot let that get me down becuase what will that accomplish (sickness, frustration and even depression). Kirk is right we are all responsible for our own happiness and with you caring so much for your Co-Workers maybe you can sit down with each person and have the friendly conservation of no matter what happens they have a choice to rule or “ruin their day” as Kirk put it so nice. I think we forget that no one is promised tomorrow and we have to look at every day as another to be happy no matter where we are. I love coming to work in spite of all the uncertainty, but that is because no matter what “I am me” and no one can take that from me. No job or individual defines me but me.
We forget that change is good and their is a bit of fear with it but change happens eventually and that is a fact.
I concur with suggestion: Who Moved my Cheese.
I pray my words help.
Thank you for allowing me to share.
Sandra
September 10th, 2008 at 9:53 am
Lisa - I posted this thought last week and it seemed to be right on target with your situation:
http://drpaulsmpower.wordpress.com/2008/09/03/the-middle-part/
Often when we are right in the middle of a difficult situation, it is tempting to look at our results as a disaster. “I’ve failed!†we might lament, feeling completely certain that life’s test has defeated us. A few days ago I was meeting with a client who expressed something like this and his embarrassment at being in the kind of situation that he was. I responded to him that from my perspective he was describing not a failure, but the MIDDLE part of a very inspiring story. Think about how some of the stories that inspire you the most have some very difficult stuff in the MIDDLE. Everything is OK in the end – if it is not OK, it is not the end! Keep working on your story – you’re not done yet.
September 10th, 2008 at 9:55 am
We are also in the midst of a great organizational change. To support your team improve their personal and professional marketable skills. Brainstorm for ways to use their skills to improve the corporation, your customers’ experiences with the organization and their futures. Include exercise and health ideas into your daily interactions with your team. Be positive about options and opportunities that come with change.
For yourself… increase your vitamins, exercise your body, your mind and your spirit everyday. Find a way to volunteer as a team in your community. It will allow them to give back and focus on the needs of others. It will strengthen their value to themselves and sharpen their perspective.
j
September 10th, 2008 at 9:55 am
I don’t have any insights, but I just wanted to say that I’m in the exact same position with my team at my company. I’m glad you wrote in, Lisa, because now I get to benefit from the answer / insights that you receive!
Thanks.
September 10th, 2008 at 10:05 am
Lisa -
I feel your pain. I don’t think I can provide you any more sound advice that the Chief Morale Officer already has, but perhaps I can suggest another avenue to growth. Although growth is usually the farthest thing from our mind during times of depression and being stuck in a rut… there is always a light at the end of the tunnel and people worse off than we are today. The future is ours to make… for better or worse.
I suggest you and your staff get with people who are not in a rut. Get with people who are excited about what they do, even if it is outside of the organization. Focus on doing the best you can do, no matter what it is or how much your organization may not know what the future holds. When people do good things, they feel good. “The Big Moo” suggest we all become remarkable… find a way, find a niche, find a goal and just do it. Our future is our decision, not the organizations.
I might suggest checking out the “Law of Importance” (of which I have absolutely no connection) at http://lawofimportance.com. You can get the DVD for $25 and well worth it. It is all about what makes you feel important.
September 10th, 2008 at 10:09 am
The first word that stood out was ‘CHANGE’. Sometimes people often see change as a bad thing. Change is a good thing. Just look at the last 25 years and all the change in the IT industry. I am an expert with 2400 baud modems and who cares!
The next word that stood out was ‘ASSURANCES’. There are no guarantees. This is why we must always focus on learning new skills.
One final word that stood out was ‘WORRY’. It is not a bad thing to worry, as long as we follow that up with positive Action! Take action on the things you have control over. The “Tipping Point†is a helpful book on this topic. .
Do not waste time or energy on the things you do not have control over. It takes energy to worry and do nothing. And it takes energy to worry and take action.
Kirk hit it right on the nose when he mentioned ‘CHOICES’. We have them to make and that is what places on the path we are on. There are many books out there to read and my favorite is “The Traveler’s Gift: Seven Decisions that Determine Personal Successâ€. All of my team members have read this book. It has been shared with family members and colleagues. Great Book.
September 10th, 2008 at 10:43 am
As I always do:
Start with the truth and go from there
Put yourselves in their shoes and react accordingly
Thrive on the Golden Rule
Leverage Common Sense
September 10th, 2008 at 10:48 am
Lisa, myself and my team went through a similar experience in 2006. Even though I could not tell them anything, as I knew nothing more than they did, I was there for them. The one thing that I heard through out the entire time was that they could trust me no matter what. Trust is huge these days.
I helped those who did not want to stay, find other roles within or out of the company and supported them in any way that I could. For those that remained, I tried to turn it into a positive for them because as we know, change is good. This was a time for everyone to start thinking of their future, what they wanted and if there was something at the end of the tunnel for them. There was a chance we were going to be working for another company and that wasn’t such a bad idea.
In the end, the project was cancelled and we stayed where we were and the funny thing was….people were upset then because they were looking on the brighter side of things and thought that the career possibilities might be better at the other company.
You never know what the future holds, but we are a team who sticks together through thick and thin and we try to have fun while we are doing it.
I hope this helps and good luck!
September 10th, 2008 at 10:49 am
Let them know what they are feeling is perfectly normal and understandable. Also change is good, it can be painful and scary, but it helps us realize who we are and can be, what we are made of. That can build us up and make us stronger for the future. I would also advise them to be prepared for the worst but expect the best. It can serve as a time of self evaluation to identify strengths and opportunites and to prepare for the change by closing the gap on thier opportunities (with training, gaining knowledge, seeking what their true deisres are ) and to build on their strenthgs. Attitude is everything and the better the better in any situation.
September 10th, 2008 at 11:01 am
The main thing I see in your situation is the fear of change!
I would suggest that you make it simple for everyone…..Say something like: You know we have to change if we’re gonna get better, cause you know it can’t improve unless we do change. It’s possible our market share could improve after these changes take place…..so let’s give a positive outlook a chance!
I hope & pray all goes well too!
September 10th, 2008 at 11:11 am
Lisa, I own an architecture firm in Salt Lake City, Ut. The housing market accross the country has affected everyone, eventhough here it is not as bad. I knew that some changes were coming, but I also respected all of my employees and the great job they were doing. One of my associates recommend I read “Who moved my Cheese”. So I did. It helped me remember that most of the time change is a great thing, and that when the cheese runs out, or gets old, there is often better “cheese” around the corner. Great things are ahead!
September 10th, 2008 at 11:31 am
Lisa,
Without knowing the exact situation or your company’s/organization’s level of openness, it is hard to top any of the advice already given to you.
However, in my company, the leaders who impress me the most are the ones who aren’t afraid to challenge the leaders above them and ask them “What’s going on?” Be honest and tell them the team is hearing rumors and get them some answers. There may be confidential information your leaders can’t share with you or information that they share that you can’t share with the team. However, honesty is the best policy. If the team already suspects what is going on and they are more right than wrong, then it is time to be upfront with them. There is no reason to play with their lives or livelihood. Let them make educated choices about their careers versus guessing on what’s going to happen next with the company.
September 10th, 2008 at 11:50 am
Lisa, When most people are truoubled they need the leader to have empathy with them. Let them know, through reflective listening that you understand their feelings. Then you can honestly explain you do not know what the outcome will be buy you are there for them. The unknown is scary and most of the time we just need someone to “hold our hand”. This is when the leader is born.
Best wishes …..
September 10th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
Lisa,
You have received a lot of great suggestions! People around you care and you need to remember that too, just as your employees should know that you care about them.
You should let your team know that what they are experiencing is normal. Any changes create uncertainty. Put them at ease by sharing with them that YOU also feel uncertain, scared, confused, etc. and that you don’t like feeling that way. Don’t cover up emotions- it makes things worse. Let people openly talk about the way they feel.
Then start preparing them for what is next- that could be at your company or somewhere else. Provide training opportunities for skill growth. Allow for innovation and problem solving. This is the BEST time for innovation because the organization is at it’s weakest and the resistance is down- use that opportunity. You could redesign processes, or solve problems that have existed for a long time, even if you have tried to solve them before. Try to keep everyone focused on solutions and improving their skills.
And communicate, communicate, communicate. You can’t communicate too much in situations like this. Tell them everything you can as often as you can. They will appreciate it.
Good luck!
September 10th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
Lisa,
I love what Kirk shared. And Kirk’s readers have made some wonderful suggestions as well. Allow me to add yet another perspective to your situation, realizing that I’m an outsider and not at all acquainted with you or your co-workers.
I have twice been in situations similar to yours. My suggestions have to do with you. I appreciate how much you care and what to help your friends. I wanted to share with you (just in case you are not already approaching things from this perspective) that real empathy means you are open to hearing and accepting reactions to change.
Attempts to sugar-coat change rarely fool anyone and almost always create roadblocks to accepting the changes. “Hearing and accepting†is not the same as “agreeing and rescuing.†Being empathetic does not “fix†people’s pain or anxiety.
Much as we like to avoid it, there is also responsibility associated with being on the receiving end of change. Most of us equate change with “something being done to us.†We think in terms of losing rather than gaining. Anytime there is a light at the end of the tunnel, we convince ourselves it is from the headlights of the train that will soon run us over. Many people become victims so completely invested in “denial†(‘this just can’t be happeningâ€) or “anger†(“they can’t get away with thisâ€) that they refuse to budge. Then there is no amount of understanding from a “change messenger†like yourself that will move a committed victim.
So, be empathetic (don’t agree and rescue): listen to your friends, accept their reactions to the situation, and ask them how they plan to deal with the situation. If you think it is appropriate, share examples of how you are responding to and accepting the situation (positive things, not the “blame game†or “pity party,†etc.).
In other words, you are a “listening earâ€â€”a sounding board, so to speak—to help them see themselves. Then, after they have expressed their fears and concerns, you help them begin to move forward by focusing on action—what they will do to adjust and accept things. This helps them to start taking personal responsibility, as Kirk suggested.
I wish you success!
P.S. Aren’t you feeling more confident and positive now, with all the good vibes Kirk’s readers are sending your way? : )
September 10th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Lisa
it is important to remember that the loyalty you are demonstrating to the company and your people, and the loyalty they are showing to the company will not be returned by the company. As much as we want to believe that loyalty and hard work will be recognized and rewarded by the company, in these situations the company will make choices without regard for your people’s lives. While this may sound cynical, it actually should provide you and your staff a sense of freedom. Freedom to choose thier path, freedom to do what is in their best interest and best interests of their families. Please help these folks begin to look for other jobs. I have seen many situations where employees hang on hoping the company will do the “right thing” by them. The reality is decisions regarding their lives and careers will be made by people who have never met them looking at financial tables. Good luck, and take care.
September 10th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
Okay, forgive my posting twice… But I just now went back to my e-mail where I received the following two articles on change, that I think are worth reading. Talk about coincidence! Enjoy.
“Why Organizational Change Fails” by Mark Sanborn
http://tinyurl.com/577v4b
“How to Lead Change” by John Kotter
http://tinyurl.com/6yyddv
September 10th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
Lisa,
Every eye is on you! You panic they panic. YOU must show great leadership skills here. These employees you care about need someone to look to. You can help them calm down by you keeping it upbeat no matter what the outcome. This is the best way to show you care. So, you don’t have frustrations, due to you don’t have the facts that you can give them about what is going on, because you don’t know. Be like a duck, paddle hard underneath but make sure what everyone sees is smooth on the top. Take a deep breath and be positive. Bad things happen. Don’t you gossip about the changes. You can’t control what happens if you’re not the owner, Just make the best of it. Every employee will remember that about YOU.
Also every day don’t just greet your employees meet your employees. This is the time that you need to be NOT behind your desk. Get out and spead what is good. YOU CAN DO IT!
Let me know how it rolls out.
Thank you,
Shaw Phillips
CEO- Owner
September 10th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
I think all of you people ROCK.. it’s so wonderful of each of you to take time from your day to share insights and expertise with LISA. I’m thrilled to know people like you. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
Kirk
September 10th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Hi Lisa, being through sugh change as both employee and leader I learned two things: 1) be honest 2) communicate whether there is new information or not.
The honesty is for you; the consistent weekly communications is for the your valued employees; they’ll see both as solid leadership in time of difficult change.
September 10th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Lisa,
These types of situations certainly cause a lot of distress and distrust. One thing to note for people is that no matter what happens they have the knowledge that they have gained and no one can take that away from them. They have the skills that they have learned and that can’t be taken away. These are the foundations to many things. You can build many things by applying skill and knowledge.
Your honesty and openness can be very encouraging for people but the unknown is what they fear. You may be hearing a lot if “what if” scenario’s. Try to reassure them that we can only move forward on “what is” and right now doing the best they can at what they do is a great great accomplishment.
My prayers are with you.
September 10th, 2008 at 5:36 pm
Lisa,
I have been in the workforce for over 35 years and when I first started I figured I would be employed by that company for a lifetime, I was there for 25 years. I learned a great lesson from a seminar I used to facilitate for that company called “Shift Happens”. We reminded everyone, the world is different from 30 years ago and the major change is — you used to need to be employed, today you need to be employable. Let them know to have confidence in themselves, their experience and the support of family and freinds. They may lose this opportunity but from one of Kirk’s previous T4D’s, George Bernard Shaw stated “people will make their circumstances.”
September 10th, 2008 at 5:53 pm
Lisa,
Focus on the things that will not change, mainly you. Let them know that you are their advocate and let them know that your number one priority is to help them be successful in their job.
Try saying this, “Team the reality is our organization is changing. That means that our roles, responsibilities, job duties, even salries may change. But one thing that will never change is me. My primary job responsibility is to help you be successful. It was my primary responsibiliy yesterday. It is my primary responsibility today, and it will be my primary responsibility tomorrow. Regardless of the change that happens in our organization, know that my focus will never change. I will always focus on your and your success.”
Once said, all you have to do is make it a reality.
If you do, they will follow.
Good luck,
Jay Walker
September 10th, 2008 at 11:13 pm
[…] minutes of yesterday’s T4D invitation to “help Lisa” the responses started coming in. Last time I looked there were nearly 30 principle […]
September 11th, 2008 at 6:54 am
Lisa,
Focus on what you know rather than speculating on all of the things that “might happen”. What’s good in the situation and what’s right in the situation. What can you do today (no matter how small) to increase your joy in the situation. What might this signal for the future. A new job? A new approach? A new choice? A new understanding? A new commitment? There is a wonderful change coming in some way that is not clear today… what might it be?
Strange thing for me… no matter how difficult the situation, I have found that as long as I focus on the positive future potential, it always works out alright!
Best to you and your colleagues, Gene Spencer
September 11th, 2008 at 6:57 am
Hi Lisa,
this is probably just a drop in the ocean of all the other comments now but I felt compelled to write anyway. I’m sorry to hear of your plight and current challenge. Luckily, it appears that the right person is in the right position to try and lead people through this time and that person is you! You have taken the right first step of any good leader, that of the counsel of someone you trust for quality leadership help and mentoring in Kirk - props to you for that as so many so called leaders don’t even make that far.
Now, the first thing that came to mind when I read your message was, hey, what a great situation to be able to apply the most recent thought for the day of vulnerable leadership. After all, you find yourself in a vulnerable position with people feeling vulnerable so the first thing you probably need to do yourself is, be vulnerable. It’s not a time to throw a big pity party for everyone and Kirk’s response clearly alluded to that. In fact to me I just sat there nodding through his reply. Add that in with all the other comments and I think you have a great collection to help you through.
This is not a time for:
Counting the grievances
PLOM disease (Poor Little Ol’ Me)
The blame game
It is the worst thing you could do to try to hide any possible ramifications of the situation whatsoever - people will sniff it a mile off and feel disrespected and insulted. Be vulnerable about your own feelings on it along with giving hope. Do all you can to give people some perspective, be open and factual about what is happening. Source some book or information - Man’s Search for Meaning springs to mind - that helps to show people that people have survived horrific occurences, not to belittle their predicament but to lead them to the leader and winner within and understanding of one’s ability to choose their response whatever their situation in life.
Lastly, understand that you will likely not be able to help alleviate everyone’s fears or bring ‘peace to the force’
. Know that, but act anyway with such a lofty goal in mind. Act with energy and enthusiasm for the current day - for that is all we can have an impact on at any given moment.
Blessings,
Daniel
PS I don’t know if you are religious at all but it would be denying my promptings to not mention this. I had my weekly scripture/prayer meeting today with a great group of men I meet with and the following scripture jumped out and slapped me in the head and I felt I was meant to share this here.
1 Cor 8:1b “We are well aware that all of us have knowledge; but while knowledge puffs up, love is what builds up.”
I believe I was meant to share it to illustrate that it is what is in your heart that is going to make all the difference here. You have had a lot of knowledge shared with you in this blog which is important, yet it all amounts to naught without the love for your people in your heart which you seem to have in spades - trust it and remain in it.
September 11th, 2008 at 8:38 am
I strongly recommend the book and course “Crucial Conversations”. It will change your life, if you take it to heart.
September 22nd, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Lisa,
this just in from RFL and it’s in line with what you were asking so I thought I would post it… read on and you’ll find out what RFL is (if you don’t already).
http://www.danmulhern.com/wordpress/2008/09/in-times-of-volatility
Also, some time back there was a series on ‘leading in tough times. Here is the first of the series for you to look through:
http://www.danmulhern.com/wordpress/2008/06/everyday-leaders-leading-in-tough-times-first-in-a-series
Hope things are going well for you.