WOW, lots and lots of wonderful comments from T4D readers on last weeks “Thought 4 the Day” post titled “If I were any better I’d be Twins”.  To read it and the comments go too www.kirkweisler.com/t4d

In other news; I was blessed to do another “Live on Purpose” radio show with Dr. Paul, the “Shrink who expands your life.  To download or listen to the “podcast” version of the show simply go too… http://www.liveonpurposeradio.com/radio/ our show was called “Thanksgiving with a Magic T”

While there Dr. Paul told me that my last time on the show is the most downloaded since he began - to hear Watch Your Language, Flip Your “But” go to  http://www.liveonpurposeradio.com/radio/page/2/

Today’s T4D  Thanksgiving for the Differences

Like many or most of the citizens of the U.S.  I celebrated Thanksgiving with family and friends last week.  It was wonderful to be able to gather together with my brothers and their families along with my Mom & Dad.  For most of the week we were all together in our home… 4 families all with “their own way of doing things” all coming together and allowing for the differences of others, often giving up what would be preferred personally for what might be desired collectively or by another.  

Since this time we were gathered in our home in Atlanta - I found myself perhaps even more aware of how differently “my own family does things”…like get ready for bed, feed children, discipline or correct kids, talk about life…and even listen to one another.  Each of my brothers and their families have their own way of doing these same things.  

The obvious temptation in life is to believe that they way we do things is the “best way”.  Because, of course. we wouldn’t deliberately choose to raise our families or to live our lives in a worse way… right?  The danger is if we can’t get past the belief that our way is the best or only way to do things - then we will waste an inordinate amount of time being critical of others - which, of course, accomplishes no good thing.  My brothers ways of doing things are potentially, and probably “way better than my own.”  At the very least my way of doing things can only represent “one way.”

Still people who do things differently than we do them at home or at work can prove to be annoying… especially if the way they choose to do them inhibits or alters our pattern and way of doing things.

For the past week my wife Rebecca had “other people” in “her kitchen” and my Mom even “took over” the kitchen a couple of times.  Rebecca dealt with this wonderfully, but at one point I found myself starting to be a bit critical of the amount of time my Mom was spending in the kitchen - I thought - No one asked her to be in there or too cook, or too clean up - but there she was.  A couple of my brothers even told her as much.  We wanted her to relax - the kitchen can wait is perhaps “our way of doing things”.   It is not my Mom’s way.

Why was she in the kitchen? Well when I thought it through I quickly concluded that it was not out of a need she has to have or be in control.  She is just not that way.  It is her way to “get it done” so she can relax knowing that it is done.  I thought she is also likely there in the kitchen because her whole life has been about raising and caring for her sons…and the kitchen was one of the central gathering and nurturing places of our growing up and where a good bit of this nurturing took place.  So with her sons and grandchildren gathered - one of the places she felt most at home and most able to serve was in and from the kitchen.  These were my thoughts…and they changed my view of my Mom being there.  Mom didn’t need to change where she was at … I did.

Considering people’s motivation and intention - can help to change our perspective - and help us ‘make the needed change’ in our view.

Taking the time to consider others intentions and to give them the benefit of the doubt creates for ourselves greater opportunities to allow for understanding and for the placing of others needs before our own.  The moment we are able to do this is the moment we become able to replace a measure annoyance with a far greater measure of endearment - it is the moment when you can more easily forget yourself and truly treasure another.  It is a moment of true thanksgiving, not just for another person, but for their differences that actually have helped you to see yourself and the world with more compassion and more clarity than you could have without them. 

Whether the differences in others and in their way of doing things are better or worse than our own is of little or no consequence.  Of greater consequence is that we are willing to value and learn from those differences so we can become better.

Our Thanksgiving becomes greater as we do !

Kirk out