Destiny is not a matter of chance, but of choice. Not something to wish for, but to attain.

–William Jennings Bryan

“I used to think that going to the jungle made my life an adventure. However, after years of unusual work in exotic places, I realize that it is not how far off I go, or how deep into the forest I walk that gives my life meaning. I see that living life fully is what makes life - anyone’s life, no matter where they do or do not go - an adventure.”  ~ Maria Fadiman
Geographer and National Geographic Emerging Explorer

WD-40? Well an old Ranger Buddy sent me this intriguing list of over 40 mostly practical and useful things you could do with this household product.  Well it sounded “to good to be true” so I went to the source of all knowledge http://www.snopes.com/ and found out that is was mostly true.  Here is the link - -fun stuff, especially if you have bug issues!  http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/household/wd-40.asp  

“Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.”  ~ Dennis Waitley

 In organizations, real power and energy is generated through relationships. The patterns of relationships and the capacities to form them are more important than tasks, functions, roles, and positions.   - Margaret Wheatly Leadership and the New Science

I read this quote and had to ask myself - did it really take “New Science” to determine that relationships are the key?   ~ Kirk

I took a few BIG hits today from readers of the Blog titled “Obesity & Stupidity” which by some was read in an entirely different context than intended.  My intent was to use the research presented to show that the subject of the research “obesity” was actually irrelevant and that nearly any behavior might have been substituted and the same conclusions reached.   

I was really poking a little bit of fun - that research was even being done on something that most people already know and accept - that being that the people we hang around can and do influence our behavior.  I have gone back and modified the blog in an attempt to clarify my intent - and to issue an apology to those who took exception to my attempt to communicate the principle of association.   I would have been better served to share Jim Rohn’s well articulated piece “Evaluating Your Associations’ where he does a much better job.  (Though I suspect there are those who might take exception to his words as well)

Enjoy ~ `Kirk

EVALUATING YOUR ASSOCIATIONS  

If you were to evaluate the major influences in your life that have shaped the kind of person you are, this has to be high on the list: the people and thoughts you choose to allow into your life.  Mr. Shoaff gave me a very important warning in those early days that I would like to share with you.  He said, “Never underestimate the power of influence.”  Indeed, the influence of those around us is so powerful!  Many times we don’t even realize we’re being strongly affected because influences generally develop over an extended period of time.

Peer pressure is an especially powerful force because it is so subtle.  If you’re around people who spend all they make, chances are excellent that you’ll spend all you make.  If you are around people who go to more ball games than concerts, chances are excellent that you’ll do the same thing.  If you are around people who don’t read, chances are excellent that you won’t read.  People can keep nudging us off course a little at a time until finally, we find ourselves asking, “How did I get here?”  Those subtle influences need to be studied carefully if we really want our lives to turn out the way we’ve planned.

With regard to this important point, let me give you three key questions to ask yourself.  They may help you to make better analysis of your current associations.

Here is the first question: “Who am I around?”  Make a mental note of the people with whom you most often associate. You’ve got to evaluate everybody who is able to influence you in any way.

The second question is:  “What are these associations doing to me?” That’s a major question to ask.  What have they got me doing?  What have they got me listening to?  What have they got me reading?  Where have they got me going?  What do they have me thinking?  How have they got me talking?  How have they got me feeling?  What have they got me saying? You’ve got to make a serious study of how others are influencing you, both negatively and positively.

Here’s a final question: “Is that okay?”  Maybe everyone you associate with has been a positive, energizing influence. Then again, maybe there are some bad apples in the bunch.  All I’m suggesting here is that you take a close and objective look.  Everything is worth a second look, especially the power of influence.  Both will take you somewhere, but only one will take you in the direction you need to go.

It’s easy to just dismiss the things that influence our lives.  One man say’s, “I live here, but I don’t think it matters.  I’m around these people, but I don’t think it hurts.”  I would take another look at that.  Remember, everything matters!  Sure, some things matter more than others, but everything amounts to something.  You’ve got to keep checking to find out whether your associations are tipping the scales toward the positive or toward the negative.  Ignorance is never the best policy.  Finding out is the best policy.

Perhaps you’ve heard the story of the little bird.  He had his wing over his eye and he was crying.  The owl said to the bird, “You are crying.”  “Yes,” said the little bird, and he pulled his wing away from his eye.  “Oh, I see,” said the owl.  “You’re crying because the big bird pecked out your eye.”  And the little bird said, “No, I’m not crying because the big bird pecked out my eye.  I’m crying because I let him.”

It’s easy to let influence shape our lives, to let associations determine our direction, to let pressures overwhelm us, and to let tides take us.  The big question is, are we letting ourselves become what we wish to become?

There are three ways to handle associations or relationships that are holding you back.

1) Disassociate. This is not an easy decision, nor something you should take lightly, but in some cases it may be essential.  You may just have to make the hard choice not to let certain negative influences affect you any more. It could be a choice that preserves the quality of your life.

2) Limited association.  Spend major time with major influence and minor time with minor influences. It is easy to do just the opposite, but don’t fall into that trap. Take a look at your priorities and your values.  We have so little time at our disposal.  Wouldn’t it make sense to invest it wisely?

3) Expanding your associations.  This is the one I suggest you focus on the most. Find other successful people that you can spend more time with.  Invite them to lunch (pick up the tab) and ask them how they have achieved so much or what makes them successful.  Now, this is not just about financial success, it can be someone that you want to learn from about having a better marriage, being a better parent, having better health or a stronger spiritual life.

It is called association on purpose - getting around the right people by expanding your circle of influence.  And when you do that, you will naturally limit the relationships that are holding you back. Give it a try and see for yourself.

Before you read this as posted -   Let me issue an apology -  The title of this BLOG eviently belongs to me for being a “Fat Head” (which is nice compared to what some have said today)

It was like one of those times I said something to my wife Rebecca and it came out wrong. You know when you wish you hadn’t said something because it came out differently than you intended.   I am sorry for it - please accept my apologies. 

I have to say that I have gotten some pretty strong e-mails about this blog.  The majority of them positive but some very negative and this because I obviously was not clear enough about  my context and intent.  So let me attempt once more to clarify - IT IS NOT my intent to offer commentary on health, fitness or fatness - the news and media outlets are doing plenty of that for us all. 

IT IS or WAS my intent  to point out the positives in their research.  Research that was, in my opinion, not even necessary.  WHY?  Because it told us what we already know - which is that we are influenced by our peers!!  I am not a proponent of nature over nurture - I believe in personal accountability and that means I believe we all have a CHOICE.  So if I choose to hang around a bunch of Skateboarders - I am not doomed to become one because of association. (Not that there is anything wrong with skateboarders)

Still common sense tells us - and every parent knows - that if your teenager is hanging out with a group of kids who smoke and drink - there is a HIGHLY increased probability that they will too!  That is what I was hoping to communicate with today’s T4D today.   My point was that the article being about obesity was not relevant - it could be about anything….

In the context of corporate culture - if we want a more positive and powerful culture in the workplace then we need to become a more powerful and positive peer group.  The article again references the “positive power of peers” and the more effective way to change behavior.  I didn’t do the research, I didn’t write the article, this has been on every news station and in every newspaper for the past 2 weeks. 

Anyway - My apologies for those who it may have offended. 

Today’s T4D follows

Most have heard the news blips of the past few weeks telling of the research suggesting that hanging around Obese increases your chance of weight gain.  I’ve posted a reprint of the World News piece on my Blog for a most intersting full review.  It’s titled “Big” friends a “Big” problem?  I highlighted some of the text for emphasis of what I thought were some key points. 

No, I am not a social spokesperson for health and fitness - but I am a student of personal and social behavior.  I remember someone telling me that we are constantly becoming an average of the five people we spend the most time with.  I think that the research referenced in the article suggests something much more disconcerting because it says that spouses and family play a secondary role of influence to friends!

If there research has any merit, and I believe that it does…then the it would also hold true concerning hanging around stupid friends, victim minded people, bitter people, negative people, spiteful and dishonest people - etc etc.

Jim Rohn says, be careful who you hang around with because they influence your thinking - and you don’t want stinkin thinking”  (I paraphrased that)  I was taught and try to teach my children… “be a friend to everyone, but choose your best friends wisely.” 

 Kirk Out

I remember not too long ago an evening rain storm that just dumped great buckets of water from the sky.  My kids were off the porch and dancing in it… I thought for just a moment about the hassles of drying everyone off, finding dry clothes for them to sleep in…and other lame and practical things. Thankfully the kids energetic invitation to join them pulled from me from the paralysis of practicality and into a splash dance of laughter and joy.  It was great fun and created a wonderful memory. A while back someone shared this wonderful story with me…and with you.  It invites all of us to get off the porch of practicality and back into the joy and laughter of a life filled with activities that make memories.  Enjoy the story… and Fill Your Life With Joy by helping others do the same.

Kirk Out

A little girl had been shopping with her Mum in K-Mart. She must have been

6 years old, this beautiful red haired, freckle faced image of innocence. It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout. We all stood there under the awning and just inside the door of the K-Mart.

We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried day. I am always mesmerized by rainfall. I got lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world.  Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child came pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day.

The little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in.

“Mum, let’s run through the rain,” she said.

“What?” Mum asked.

“Let’s run through the rain!” She repeated.

“No, honey. We’ll wait until it slows down a bit,” Mum replied.

This young child waited about another minute and repeated: “Mum, let’s run through the rain.”

“We’ll get soaked if we do,” Mum said.

“No, we won’t, Mum. That’s not what you said this morning,” the young girl said as she tugged at her Mum’s arm.

This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet?

“Don’t you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, ‘If God can get us through this, he can get us through anything!”

The entire crowd stopped dead silent. I swear you couldn’t hear anything but the rain. We all stood silently. No one came or left in the next few minutes.

Mum paused and thought for a moment about what she would say. Now some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child’s life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.

“Honey, you are absolutely right. Let’s run through the rain. If GOD let’s us get wet, well maybe we just needed washing,” Mum said.

Then off they ran. We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles. They held their shopping bags over their heads just in case. They got soaked. But they were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars.

And yes, I did. I ran. I got wet. I needed washing.

Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away your money, and they can take away your health. But no one can ever take away your precious memories…So, don’t forget to make time and take the opportunities to make memories everyday. To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven.

A friend sent this to me to remind me of life. Hope you enjoy it.

I HOPE YOU STILL TAKE THE TIME TO RUN THROUGH THE RAIN.

Get Wet, Have Fun and Make it a great day, it’s your choice!

Kirk Out

A loyal 12 year old subscriber sent me a couple of his favorite quotes recently… I enjoyed them and wanted to pass them along for all to enjoy.

“Some people learn from other people’s mistakes. The rest of us have to be the other people.” - anonymous  

“The rain falls on the just and the unjust, but mostly on the just because the unjust steals the just’s umbrella.” - anonymous

So I guess it’s better to be the wet person who learns?  ~  Kirk

“The most important thing in life is to stop saying ‘I wish’ and start saying ‘I will.’ Consider nothing impossible, then treat possibilities as probabilities.” 

~ David Copperfield Magician

“If I were to try to read, much less answer, all the attacks made on me, this shop might as well be closed for any other business. I do the very best I know how - the very best I can; and I mean to keep doing so until the end. If the end brings me out all right, what’s said against me won’t amount to anything. If the end brings me out wrong, ten angels swearing I was right would make no difference.” The Inner Life of Abraham Lincoln: Six Months at the White House by Francis B. Carpenter

I think the wisdom of this quote by Lincoln invites us all to spend less time worrying about what people may be saying and instead focus our energies and our integrity on simply seeking to do our very best.  In addition we might consider that(seeking to do the best they can) is what most others are trying to do as well.  Unless of course it is a political candidate who running against yours. 

Kirk out

Kirk Out